In and out of the hospital.
So many 'ups.'
Just as many 'downs.'
We've tried anything and everything suggested to us by medical professionals.
A few Mondays ago, following the latest return from a hospital visit, we asked for help.
Ed signed the papers so Janet could enter hospice care.
After our initial meeting, we felt immediately at ease.
Janet has a large family and many, many friends.
But, when it comes to the decisions my husband makes for his mom, he has a small circle of us in whom he confides. Our four children, of course. Some of Janet's family. Her sister, Esta, is a constant source of strength and guidance as is Janet's eldest grandchild, Justin. We don't know what we would do without them. These months have bonded us in a way which words can't describe. They know what this journey has been...because they've lived it right along with us.
But, sometimes, we doubt ourselves. Are we doing all we can for her? Have we exhausted every avenue of possibility? Is the quality of life worth extending the quantity?
Hospice adds a layer of comfort to not only Janet but to us, as well.
Asking for help can be a lifesaver...when dealing with death.
Oxymoron?
Yes.
Death isn't only about the one who is actually dying.
Death is also about the loved ones who will be left behind.
Hospice gives us the answers we can't find for ourselves, as well as validation for the ones we do.
Hospice gives us hope that Janet can be in charge of her death just as she was with her life.
Those who know and love Janet are aware of her strong independence and her deeply caring and compassionate soul. She has made it clear to Ed what her wishes are. He is doing everything he can to make sure those wishes are carried out. It's his turn to take care of her as she has done for us, and for so many, throughout her life.
Asking for help can be a lifesaver.
This is the first time, since August 6, where I feel at peace. I see that Ed feels this, as well. I think we can handle the days ahead. The questioning has stopped. While I felt we were before, I'm truly confident now we are doing our best for Janet.
There is no right or wrong when dealing with a loved ones illness. Your love for them keeps you moving forward. But, as a caregiver, I've learned how important it is to keep asking questions, to keep advocating, and to keep reaching out for help.
Hospice can be days, weeks, or even years.
While we have no idea how long Janet's journey will be, we do know one thing.
We know Janet will be allowed to end her days the same as she lived them.
Life is so many things. Milestones, momentous occasions, or mere moments.
We've spent many of those with Janet.
Now, we're here for her, again.
One final time.
It is what it is.
p
