I've taken (and passed with an A!) the first course needed to secure my LBS1 (Learning Behavior Specialist) endorsement.
I've met, and fallen in love with, 6 students with special needs.
I've met, and am gaining immense respect for, the 1:1 paraprofessionals and nurses who work directly with our students.
There's no two ways to say it, this special education world is one you need to work in to understand. While I'm not saying it's some big secret that only a few can uncover, I am saying it's indescribable unless you walk this walk each and every day.
Recently, I had my first formal teaching observation. Part of the process is my submission of a 'reflection' on this part of the school year.
My boss told me to simply write about what's happened so far.
"Tell me how you think it's going," she said.
So, I decided the best way to do this is to write how I've felt in these past months. How being a special ed teacher has made me look at not only my students, but my own classroom staff. How I view my students parents has begun to evolve. How the blessing of a little school, where I have my classroom, has been the unexpected sunlight brightening the entire picture.
My students.
Little mysteries waiting to be solved. My students are "my little onions" because they have so many layers begging to be peeled. Unless you have a true passion for this work, you can easily be lost in the minute-to-minute movements and minutiae. These kids are teaching me to step back, take a breathe, and keep the bigger picture in view. It's not day-to-day in our classroom. We go by moments. I'm learning to celebrate our small victories because they are victories and we all need to be excited about the positive successes. My students may be classified with special needs but they are just kids. They have a right to learn. I'm doing my best to make sure they have every opportunity they deserve to be successful.
My classroom staff.
Before I was a teacher, I was a classroom aide and a 1:1 aide in special ed. This unique perspective benefits the way I look at the adults matched with our students. It's a tough job. It's a tough job. It's a tough job. I wrote that sentence three times because it deserves that much space on the page. For little pay, we ask these individuals to do the work of many people all by themselves. We ask them to do some things many would refuse to do. I try to add humor (sometimes laced with sarcasm) to our day's together. And, laughter! We laugh. A lot. That saying 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' fits us to a 't.' This many female personalities in one small classroom can be challenging and I'm still learning to navigate my way. I try to let them know how very much I appreciate all they do and I also try to be their cheerleader and supporter. I couldn't make the progress I am with these students without the classroom staff. We call ourselves the 'hot-mess express.' I wouldn't have it any other way. We love this mess.
My student's parents.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. How true. I was blessed with four healthy children. While being a parent is the hardest (and most rewarding) job I've ever had, I never have had to live the additional facet of parenting a child with special needs. These months in this classroom have shown me I need to be more patient and less judgmental. Yes, I have expectations for my students while they're in my classroom but they leave me at the end of a school day. Parents never get a 'day off' and they are parents for life. It's easy for me to push my expectations onto the parents. It's easy to be judgmental. The harder thing to do would be to NOT JUDGE what we don't first-hand experience on a daily-basis. I'm a work in progress in this regard. I will get there.
My little school classroom.
Griggsville-Perry Elementary school. I'd never been inside this school before I came with the previous teacher and my boss this summer to see the room which become my new weekday home. What a gem of a school! The staff is i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. I remember asking my boss how this school responded to kids with special needs and she said this is where she comes to 'get happy!' The staff knows our students names and greets them in the halls. The administration comes in and out of the classroom and we're always happy to see them. I sometimes sit at my desk before or after school and hear the teachers in my hallway speaking to each other. There's 'Hello, friend!' welcomes from many and laughter echoing down the corridor. I smile each time I hear this! I feel safe here. I feel accepted. I feel supported. How lucky am I that this is where I was placed in my first special ed position? I'll forever be indebted to the GP staff for making me feel like I belong here. Proud to be a GP Tornado!
"Tell me how you think it's going," she said.
I know only one thing for certain.
I'm where I'm supposed to be at this time of my life.
All the rest continues to fall into place.
It is what it is.
p
