I felt out of place.
On being 'straight' at Pride...my stomach was churning and I felt as if a spotlight was on me as I started to walk through the large crowd filling the streets of Chicago.
I had to stick out like a sore thumb.
I'm a straight, white, catholic, over-middle-aged woman. Surely, everyone could tell.
Maybe I'd be asked to 'exit left!?'
Ed and I followed our son, Blaize, into the massive crowd.
Brody and Bentley were swallowed up by a sea of brightly dressed people. We did our best to keep up!
Smiles.
Hugs.
Dancing.
That's what I saw.
Laughter.
Singing.
Music.
That's what I heard.
The noise was deafening and the sheer amount of people, packed into these city streets and sidewalks, was like nothing I'd ever experienced.
This. Was. Pride.
I remember, at one point, stopping and having a quick moment to catch my breath and look around a bit.
Total acceptance.
I felt it for the first time in my entire life.
People from all walks of life were here for one reason.
To celebrate LOVE and show PRIDE for what this emotion means to them.
Turns out, having our son 'come out' meant our world had expanded and had grown into--what would become--true acceptance. I am sure I have had closeted biases of my own. I'm human, after all, and that means I'm far from perfect.
Luckily, I grew up in a home where we didn't judge and we weren't raised with prejudices. Everyone was created equal. Still, there remained an uneasiness for things I didn't fully understand. I lived my life a certain way and there's no way I could understand what others, different than I, were going through. I had no idea the biases and the prejudices they faced each and every day.
When Blaize told us he identified as Bisexual, this put him smack dab in the center of the LGBTQ community.
I had some learning to do.
Once I realized Blaize hasn't changed and that he is the same incredible person I gave birth to all those years ago, things immediately became clearer.
Like race and religion, sexual preference does not define a person. It's simply who you are.
Oh, yes. I've heard how having a bisexual child is our fault, as his parents. Maybe I kissed him too much as a child and showed him too much affection. And Ed had maybe done the same so we somehow 'confused' Blaize. Affection from a mom and a dad. This is what makes a child bisexual?
I call bullshit.
We raised all four of our kids with the same love and they grew up who they were meant to be.
Period.
As I was jostled in the huge Pride crowd at last year's Parade, I saw unconditional love and zero judgement.
My heart swelled. I actually got tears in my eyes realizing how massive this outpouring was and how this is what the world is all about.
On being 'straight' at Pride...I was the only one making myself feel uncomfortable. Truth!
I did belong here.
Supporting our son has turned into so much more for us. We'll always be there for him but, in doing so, we've been exposed to an entirely different life than the one which we are accustomed.
When I hear that being a part of the LGBTQ community is a 'choice,' all I can think is why in the world would anyone CHOOSE to be persecuted and to be judged on their lifestyle? Complete strangers judge our son because 'they don't agree' with who he is. I'd say that's my greatest concern for him--people won't bother to get to know the person he is but, instead, will feel completely justified in judging him and the community to which he belongs.
Again, I call bullshit.
This breaks my heart for him. He is who he was born to be.
No choice about it.
On being straight at Pride...it's taught me that I need to open my eyes to more than my comfortable, safe world. Before I judge, I need to 'walk in the shoes' of the LGBTQ community...even if it's only for one weekend a year in Chicago.
We're heading back to Pride this weekend.
I.
Can't.
Wait.
Blaize tells us how lucky he is that he has parents and siblings who completely support him and love him. I couldn't imagine not being there for any of my children. I'm their mom. This is what we do.
We love.
With that thought in mind, the shirts we will wear this weekend will be for all the people who don't have the luxury of 'coming out' and being accepted by those they love.
FREE MOM HUGS, is what I'll wear.
FREE DAD HUGS, is Ed's.
FREE BROTHER HUGS, for Brody.
FREE SISTER HUGS, for Beni.
On being 'straight' at Pride...I am straight. I don't hate.
It is what it is.
p
