It's been a five year journey with many 'ups' and 'downs.'
More 'ups.'
But, the 'downs' are a part of any experience.
As I sat back and watched her walked across that stage, I couldn't stop my eyes from welling up. She did this on her own.
She made her own path.
When you're the baby and the only girl in a family, it's both a blessing and a curse. She's not only happily spoiled by her brothers (and us) but she is often discounted, as well. We never did it on purpose. But, I have no doubt there were times she felt as if we didn't listen to her as much or didn't seek her opinion as often as we did her brothers'.
She's one of the sweetest people I've ever known. Always wants to see the best in everyone. Forever smiling and caring. It's no wonder she became a teacher. She's following her true calling.
She started at U of I with all three brothers. Over the years, one after another left and there was one year she was all alone.
It's within that year that Ed and I noticed our little girl was able to handle herself. She made decisions and shouldered responsibilities which she wouldn't have done without one of us previously. She was forced to 'grow up.' She did it with ease. I know she undoubtedly struggled yet she didn't let on.
She made her own path.
Ed and I finally had a chance to sit and talk with Beni not too long ago. We've not been the most attentive of parents in recent months with my mother-in-law's illness and subsequent death. We apologized to Bentley and told her how proud we were of her.
Life 'happens' in ways we least expect...when we least expect it. I don't know if Ed and I handled everything the best we could. Whatever we did or didn't do as parents during that time, she somehow came out unscathed and stronger than ever. These last months made our daughter even more independent and steadfast. My heart hurts knowing she would have wanted us 'more' yet the positives outweigh the negatives. I am at peace with that.
I really have no idea what I hoped for as Bentley's future. It became clear early on that she would do something which helped others. I was thrilled when she showed an interest in education. My family has a stronghold in that profession and I'd like to think she came by this naturally. It's one of the most thankless professions there is while being one of the most rewarding. I'm so very proud of her choice.
While I will continue to see my daughter through the eyes of a mother for the rest of my life, I have to remind myself she is such a strong and independent woman now.
I can't promise her that her brothers will ever stop spoiling her.
I can't say her dad and I will, either.
Or, making fun of all the things she did when she was little. It's kind of fun, truthfully.
It's hard for all of us to admit our little Beni Lynne has grown up.
My baby.
My only daughter.
The image of her brothers crowded around her, as a newborn, laying on a blanket on the floor...singing "You are my sunshine" to her at the top of their lungs will forever be one of my fondest memories of my four children.
The palm tree of rubber-banded hair on top of her toddler head.
Fast forward to the breathtakingly beautiful (inside and out) woman in her U of I blue cap and gown.
We love her, desperately.
She made her own path.
It is what it is.
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