A Place on the Family Picture Wall...

The place we spend the greatest amount of time is our home.  So many memories are held within these walls.

Within the past several years, many changes have taken place in our family.  Our journey, like that of many other families, has included multiple positive gifts while, unfortunately, dealing with devastatingly life altering blows, as well.

After a visit from our kids college friends over one Christmas break, I decided to rearrange our dining room.  This is the room everyone seems to gather when we are all together.  Our large dining room table allows for our 'Stewart Family Game Nights' to have several chairs packed around it and I wanted to make extra room for when we needed to add more people to the mix.  We can get kind of rowdy and need space when the nights get competitive. 

Our hutch moved from one wall to another and, as it did, I realized we had a generous wall that looked incredibly bare. I moved an antique picture of my husband's grandpa and his twin brother to the center of the wall.  I had my grandparent's wedding picture along with pictures of my great-grandparents, too.  They all seemed to belong together.  Our past relatives looking down on us.  Our kids joke that these pictures are 'creepy' because they are not pictures they are used to seeing.  My husband's grandpa and his twin are clothed in what looks like dresses as per the time period for infant photos.  My grandparents and great-grandparents aren't smiling in their photos.  We're talking about pictures that are over 100 years old.  Definitely a different time but so blessed to have those 'creepy' photos. 

Our oldest son, Braxton, said he thought we should make the wall an entire wall of family pictures.  I thought that was exactly what we should do!

I see designs of family picture walls online and in magazines from time to time.  Some are elaborate and artsy.  Beautiful reflections of the family they represent.

Ours is not orchestrated or designed. 

It just IS. 

It's ended up with my ancestors on one side of the wall and Ed's on the other.  The large picture of his grandpa and his twin is in the center of it all, as a focal point.

Bentley and I found the word FAMILY spelled out on individual wooden plaques at a local craft mall and she hung those all across the top of the photos along the wall. 

As time passes, I add more pictures.  We've been able to get pictures of several of Ed's aunts and uncles.  We have a few of his cousins, too.  We add a family picture from our family vacation each year.  Our kids hospital baby photos are up there among some of our favorites which mark some special time for us. 

When a new picture comes along, we always seem to find the perfect place.  We let the pictures dictate where they should be hung. 

The only other thing on that wall is an antique clock that belonged to my Grandpa and Grandma Belobrajdic.  It belongs there among the memories.

I have to admit we do have a few pictures of people that aren't related to us by blood but who are family, nonetheless.  After his death nearly two years ago, we added Leo Alfano to our wall.  One with him and my son, Brody, as little kids at Brody's birthday party one year; one with Ed and Leo after a soccer banquet (the only picture I have of just those two together); one with Tonia and me with Leo and Brody after their high school graduation; and finally, one of Tonia and Sam with Brody on his 20th birthday.  In fact, Filie was by one night and said, "I like how my family made your family picture wall...and I'm not in any!"  Guess we'll add Filie to the wall soon, too. 

Home is not only the place you spend the most time but it is the place you find comfort and warmth.  And love. 

Our family wall of pictures represents us...our past and our present. 

Time moves on.  Pictures give us that lasting grasp on what once was.  Our smiles frozen in time.  A moment forever saved by a camera.  We can look at them, again and again, and feel ourselves lost in the memories.

It is what it is.

p

Be Grateful for People from Your Past...

I have been out at the hospital the last few days sitting with my mother-in-law and her 80 year old boyfriend following his surgery.  As my mother-in-law and I got into the elevator to ride down to eat breakfast yesterday, she pressed the wrong button and we went 'up' instead of 'down'. 

When the elevator doors opened, I came face to face with someone from my past.  This wasn't a person I particularly ever wished to see again in my lifetime.  It was a person who had made it her mission to do harm to me and a member of my family.  Seeing her, in this unexpected moment, I felt a flood of emotions come back.  They weren't good feelings, for sure.

She seemed as startled as I was but hesitated only a moment before she got on the elevator with her companion and rode down the three floors to the cafeteria.  Doors opened and we got out and went our separate ways.

Having plenty of time to reflect on that moment as I sat in the hospital room the remainder of the day, I realized how my initial reaction at seeing her began to change from those first feelings. 

When someone does us or a family member harm we naturally feel anger and hurt.  Our protective instincts come into play when our children are involved as mine did in this case.  I was much more concerned for my child than for myself at that time.  I also remember feeling surprise at the calculated and underhanded tactics this woman employed to reach her desired end result.

Though this all took place several years ago, I can honestly say I have never seen people act the way they did then and I hope I never do again.  I had no idea people could even be like that.  My eyes were definitely opened to the dark side of humanity when one has a personal agenda and you are in their way.  I was admittedly naïve. 

Waking up this morning, I knew I had moved past what happened so long ago because even though I could certainly do without ever seeing this woman again, I feel seeing her was supposed to be a gentle reminder.

I should be grateful.  And I truly am.  I am so grateful for what she instigated and orchestrated.  I am grateful for the few others who joined her ridiculous cause.  People who jump on a bandwagon because what you stand for stops them from achieving their personal desires are not worth my time.

Cheating the system and using connections in behind-the-scenes dealings, in order to accomplish something that would never be done in the open with accountability and transparency is never, nor will ever be, a part of who I am or what I stand for. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't about me.  People like this woman, who react how she did to my daughter and me, will repeat the behaviors on others, as well.  But her impact on me has long ended. 

I am forever grateful our lives crossed paths.

I know it was a life lesson.

It is what it is.

p

A community coming together...

Tomorrow night, Village of South Jacksonville residents have the opportunity to attend a regularly-scheduled Board Meeting.  Unless you live under a rock, you've been seeing Facebook posts and news stories regarding the turmoil that surrounds our small community. 

I have been curious about the online petition that has been circulating on Change.org (which calls for the resignations of President Gordon Jumper, Police Chief Richard Evans and Treasurer Linda Douglass) and a new page on Facebook called My Social Jacksonville.

Today, I listened to "What's On Your Mind" on WLDS Radio and heard Colby Huff discuss his efforts and his reasoning behind creating both. 

Huff outlined the basics, in a bit more detail, and also discussed what he foresees happening at tomorrow's meeting. 

I listened. 

And I listened. 

I admit I felt somewhat uneasy because I don't know Mr. Huff.  I have no way of knowing if he has ulterior motives for leading this 'cause.' 

My apprehension started to ease when he said his reason for getting involved was because it was the right thing to do. 

I like that.

That's the bottom line. 

I've been hearing some residents haven't been signing the petition because they are afraid of retaliation or because they know one of the three individuals personally. 

I can understand that.

But, the real issue is what's right and what's wrong. 

If signing a public petition or speaking out makes someone uncomfortable, that's his choice, of course.  BUT, if residents support the effort to do the right thing, they still have an outlet.  They still have a chance for their anonymous voice to be heard and to be counted. 

VOTE. 

Vote on Tuesday in the Village Trustee race. 

Likewise, if the petition does not initiate Jumper, Evans and Douglass to resign their positions, then vote in two years time for a different Village President. 

Not all of us are interested in being a part of a movement no matter how much we agree with it. 

We all have a right to vote, however, and that makes us as much a part of the solution as if we were on the front lines leading the charge. 

I will be at the meeting tomorrow night.  I want to be as informed as possible.  I feel it's my duty as both a village resident and as a voter. 

By doing nothing, you can become part of the problem. 

It is what it is.

p