Mammogram...Finally.

The letter came in the mail yesterday. 

I was by myself when I opened it and I have to say I was terrified.

Incredible how simple words written on a page can have such a powerful impact.

At the end of last year, I had a routine physical and talked to my doctor about having a mammogram.  I am older than the recommended age to begin these as I'll be turning 50 near the end of the year.  I really don't know why I hadn't gotten one before.  Perhaps part of me couldn't bring myself to do it.  I have normal aches and pains but have always been relatively healthy.  I had four pregnancies and four live births.  I breastfed all four.  I had always heard that was a positive as far as breast cancer goes.  So, I put off the mammogram. 

As I get older, I realize that my health is not only about me...it's about my family, as well.  I have a responsibility to them to take care of myself.  Ed and I are well into the empty nest stage of our lives and, even though the kids don't live with us full-time anymore, we look forward to the next phase for our family. 

Last year, we had a scare with Ed's health.  It jarred us all as we understood that things can change in an instant.  Luckily, he is fine now and is working toward becoming healthier for all of us, as well. 

I have no doubt my hesitation to seek any sort of medical testing has to do with my mom and my two grandma's.  They each died from cancer.  Mom had pancreatic; her mom had ovarian; and my other grandma had leukemia.  That, in itself, is scary for me as the next female in line.  But, deep down, I know that early detection of any cancer is the best chance for remission/survival.  It's just that I am inwardly afraid of hearing that word in association with me.  I've heard it too many times with loved ones.

I left that routine physical clutching an order for a mammogram.  I didn't call to schedule the appointment until after I woke up one morning from a disturbingly vivid dream.  This was months later.  The dream was so frightening that I called first thing in the morning.  Perhaps someone was telling me to just get the mammogram DONE!

I went this past Saturday to Passavant and had the best experience.  Not sure what I was expecting, but the woman who did my mammogram explained everything so well and put my mind at ease.  She definitely is in the right career.  I felt fortunate to have gone through my first mammogram with her.

My letter began:  "The above breast examination did not show any sign of cancer.  A return screening in one year is recommended."

I am now one of the millions who get mammograms. 

I am one of the lucky ones.  One year at a time.

It is what it is.

p