This is a first for our family.
We've gone through the college separation for all four of our kids.
Got used to that.
We've seen one son spend an entire summer in New York for an internship.
Made it through that.
This is much different.
Where in the world is Macedonia?
It's nearly a world away in Eastern Europe. I had to ask. Not sure I've really heard of Macedonia except in passing.
Now, I'm going to learn everything I can about it.
Our oldest son will be joining the Peace Corps this September and will enter into a commitment which will keep him from home until December of 2018.
Although, in the back of my mind, I always knew this day would come...one of our four kids moving somewhere difficult to visit...I wouldn't want anything else.
It's the natural progression of his life.
Our first-born child, Braxton has always been an old soul. He's never been the typical kid. Even now, at 25, he often surprises us with the depth of his thoughts and his vision for his life. His need to do for others. Way beyond his years.
He's endured a lot of kidding from all of us when he goes into his monologues about world issues. He has such strong and developed views. Thoughtfully created and executed. But that's what makes him who he is.
We're going to miss every part of him.
He's been the leader of our 'Four B's' and watches over his brothers and sister like it's his job...because I think he feels it is. He has such a strong bond with his siblings that he has worked, tirelessly, to be the best possible role model for them that he can be. He's succeeded.
Not that it's always sunshine and rainbows, of course. Braxton has been known to give some now infamous 'lectures' to Blaize, Brody, and Bentley when he feels they need it. Ed and I laugh that it feels like he's a third parent. He often does a better job at it than us.
We're going to miss his guidance and wisdom.
We're going to miss his fierce loyalty to our family.
Watching Braxton move to St. Louis a couple years ago when he became a Teach For America educator, I felt such pride that he wanted to make a difference for the 4th graders in the Walnut Park neighborhood.
His school was only a few blocks from the Ferguson police shooting of Michael Brown. The world wide attention drawn to the area only heightened the strain added to his job. I'd watch my phone for texts or calls from Braxton. Hoping he was safe and his students were safe. It's one thing to see the turmoil on the news and quite another to know your child is living amid it all...trying to teach kids from the neighborhood in a locked-down school.
I had no idea how this experience would change him.
He has a greater compassion and understanding for what students need and deserve. He can handle all types of situations. Normal and surreal. He has worked in an area few would even drive thru. He has connected to families in a way I couldn't have imagined. He has immersed himself in the school community riddled with many strikes against it.
And his students...well, I can share that Braxton told us the hardest thing he has ever had to do was tell his class that he was joining the Peace Corps and wouldn't be back at school in the fall.
He said they cried together for an hour.
THAT is what change looks like.
I told him the fact these kids cried because he wouldn't be in their lives anymore shows me how they've come to rely on him, trust him, respect him, and love him. This group of kids isn't easy to reach. He was able to break thru their glaring differences of upbringing and circumstance and become a true educator to them. He's become their advocate.
Brax has no idea how his couple of years teaching those kids will impact them for the rest of their lives.
Brax has no idea how his couple of years teaching those kids has impacted his life.
He's become a different person.
Now, as he looks forward to moving to the country of Macedonia, he'll once again be teaching.
New students, new parents, and a completely new culture.
The learning will begin again.
For everyone.
As a parent, I remember holding him in my arms and praying to God that I wouldn't screw him up with my inexperience. For some reason he was given to us and I knew it was a true gift. I suppose it's normal to feel inadequate when raising our children. There's no manual to read on child-rearing. You go with your gut. Trial and error. Braxton was meant to be our first. He allowed us the freedom to make mistakes and he persevered in spite of us.
I love this boy who first made me a mom. He gave me my inaugural glimpse of the unexplainable connection between a mother and a child.
I look at him now and can't believe it. I still see the little boy. Yet, before me, stands a man who has already worked to change his small part of the world.
I'm in awe.
Leaving the United States, he'll touch a new part of the world. I know he is grateful for the opportunity and ready for the experience.
For our family, though, we'll miss several holidays, vacations, and birthdays with him. While he'll see Blaize graduate with his Master's in May, he'll miss both Brody's and Bentley's college graduations while he's gone. Those will be the hard moments...not to have him here for his siblings monumental achievements.
But we know our Braxton.
His heart will be with us. Distance won't change that.
He has a journey to take...students to teach. Change to implement.
My heart will break saying goodbye to him and watching him walk away. Tears will flow.
But I will continue to learn, through him, how one person can make a difference.
I have no doubt I've become a student of Braxton's, too.
And that makes it all worth it.
I love you, Braxy Poo. We all love you.
It is what it is.
Mom
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