It has been incredible that all four ended up at the same college. They had an entire year where all four where there at the same time. Not many siblings get to say that. They went there as close siblings. But what transpired once they were fellow students, as well, was nothing Ed and I expected. Though we had always hoped our children would be each others friends, we didn't realize they would be each others best friends. No matter where the future takes these four, we now know they will always be in each others lives and I don't think a parent can ask for more than that.
Time in Champaign has brought many new opportunities to our kids. Not only is the college an outstanding educational institution but the additional options for students are incredible. When Braxton first transferred there, I remember being surprised when he mentioned he was thinking of joining a fraternity. I don't think I asked many questions about it. Before long, he was initiated and was an Alpha Sigma Phi. It wasn't until Blaize transferred the next year and Brody was accepted as an incoming freshman, that I started to ask more about it. After those two chose to pledge Alpha Sig, too, it became clear to us that we would be spending a lot of time in that house over the years. Having all three sons in the same fraternity is awesome. Braxton was voted President during the time they all were there and they got to spend so much time together while he gained important leadership experience. They are brothers by blood and by choice through the U of I Greek system.
When Bentley came to U of I as a freshman, she wasn't sure she would chose the Greek route. Her brothers welcomed her into the Alpha Sig house and she gained many more 'brothers'. We kid her that if she wasn't a girl, she would have pledged Alpha Sig! She decided she wanted to go through Rush and see what it was all about. It's a long process and she knew she wanted to be a part of Chi Omega. Thankfully, they wanted her, as well. We're so glad she found these 'sisters.' As the only daughter in our house, she had never lived with girls before. I'm sure that was an adjustment. After her freshman year in the dorm, she moved into the house this past fall. When we moved her in it was so different than when we moved the boys in their house. Boys are boys and they need very little to be happy. We moved some things they had from their rooms at home into their frat house. Done. Not so with Bentley. Things had to match. Crafts had to be made. Pictures had to be developed so she could hang them everywhere. Things had to be bought! It was quite the production. But we got them all settled and Greek life was well underway.
We look forward to two big events. Dad's Weekend is in the fall and Mom's Weekend is in the Spring. It's a great time! We have met so many of our boys 'brothers' and couldn't be more impressed. The house is full of our future leaders. They come from all walks of life who, somehow, blend into a unified group. I feel as if we have another family in those boys. We have gotten to know some of their families, too. We would have never gotten this experience if the boys hadn't decided to become Greek. Yes, Ed and I have spent the night in the frat house. When Brax was President, he had his own room with a private bathroom. He would let us stay there and he would sleep elsewhere. Other times, the boys would find a space for us. I am happy to say I stayed in a frat and I survived! I also stayed at the Chi O house with Beni a few months ago during Dad's Weekend. Her roommate, Abby, stayed with her parents at a hotel so I stayed in their room. So different than the boys' house but what was the same was the feeling of 'family'. Girls are everywhere and come in and out of each others rooms. It's like a giant slumber party. I have felt more than a little bit envious of all my kids for this chance to belong with total strangers who became such important parts of their lives.
When I mention that our kids all attend U of I, most people are excited that the kids have gotten to be together. When I mention that they are all a part of the Greek system, I get a few stereotypical responses about crazy partying at the frat and some typical snobbish sorority girl comments. It's truly offensive because I know these young adults. They are not a stereotype. They are so much more.
Of course, any comments like those come from people not associated with fraternities or sororities. Neither Ed nor I were Greek in college. But I can't say enough positive things about what we've seen through our children's eyes in Champaign. Besides the philanthropic endeavors these kids undertake, they all have incredible grades and life goals. They also have a responsibility to each other and their house. These are life lessons that are priceless. They chose to add this aspect to their college days. And choices come with commitments. Being able to successfully juggle it all amazes me.
Bentley recently became President of Chi Omega and follows in Braxton's footsteps of leadership. She's in the midst of initiation right now and this weekend, the house welcomes the 18's. It's an exciting time and I know she will remember this long after she leaves Champaign. Leadership within the Greek system opens up the door to possibilities. Braxton was recruited by Teach for America partly because he was a proven leader on the huge campus of a Big 10 school. How could a parent not wish these opportunities for their children? It couldn't have happened without this membership in the largest Greek system in the nation.
It's way more than parties and wild behavior. Oh, there could be those, too. But the Greek system is a family. It's a network of current members and alumni all working toward bettering themselves and their letters. The connection never ends and is mind-blowingly far reaching.
Graduations have started for our family. Two down with Brody and Bentley to go. As they walk away with their degrees, they will take each one of their 'brothers' and 'sisters' with them.
So when people ask about our U of I experience, I will always include the Greek system as an integral part of what our four children have received and accomplished. They are better people for making the choice to go Greek.
It is what it is.
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