Kindness, it's a choice...

Life happens.  No one experiences only happiness and laughter.  Life is filled with heartaches and tears, too.   There are those moments we know could never have been better as well as those moments we wish had never happened.  These highs and lows are a part of life.  It is how we react to those circumstances that defines us.  How will it affect us as a person?

Happiness and laughter are easy.  Who doesn't enjoy the good times with family and friends?  When things go according to plan.  Everyone is healthy.  Everyone is flourishing.  Relishing in these moments is a true blessing.  As some would say, "Life is good."

Heartaches and tears are much more difficult.  They can be ours, or those of someone we love.  Whatever the case, it's difficult to remain positive and hopeful in times like these.  Pain and hurt can cut so deeply that we, in turn, can react negatively to whatever is happening.  We're blinded by the heartache. 

In these moments, when life happens, we have the power to see the positive in every situation.  Now, I'm not saying this will happen immediately.  Sometimes, at least for me, it has been a process that can take several years to accomplish. In all honesty, there are some circumstances I have faced that I am still working on.  Seeing the positives takes longer, I think, when the heartache and tears are strongest.  There are different degrees of pain. 

As we continue on the journey, we change with each circumstance, of course.  I see that in myself.  Being able to verbalize your feelings, whether it's for validation or sanity, is so important.  Don't keep feelings bottled up.  Share them.  Embrace them.  Learn from them.  However long the process.

For myself, I have come to appreciate the meaning of kindness in both the times filled with happiness and laughter as well as the times filled with heartache and tears. 

Some people just ooze kindness.  It's truly a part of their personality.  Others have it, somewhere deep inside, and just need a nudge to let it spill out. 

I don't consider myself an exceptionally kind person.  I would say I am more a thoughtful one.  Being kind is something I have to work on.  I can say that kindness others have shown me, in extremely difficult times in my life, has been priceless.  I realized the impact their actions have had on me and that has made me want to make a change in my own life.

Kindness doesn't have to be a grand gesture or public display.  For me, some of the kindest things I've experienced where a person's presence, and support, in a situation where I didn't expect to see them, a phone call or text with encouraging words or an unexpected card or note.  Perhaps the best is when I hear how someone spoke of me when I wasn't around.  What they said when they had no idea I would ever know how they described me.  What a wonderful, thoughtful surprise. 

Life happens to us no matter what we do.  It can harden us or we can choose to take life, in all its forms, and let it soften our edges...a little at a time...as we can bear it.

Those that already know how to show kindness are the ones we should be emulating.  Pay close attention to those who seem to live kindness.  We may not ever be able to be kind to that extreme, but we can be kind within our comfort zone. 

In being kind, we heal. 

One day at a time, one act of kindness at a time, we take what life sends us...and we live.